i swear, me and lynn are too funny for the morning commute. you'd think two people with half their eyes closed all the way to somerset would be numbed out and being all grounchy mcgrouch, but for lynn and me.....

scenario 1: walking toward the MRT station, lynn pulls out a tupperware of butter biscuits from her bag..(and no thats not the funny part)

me: fuck lar, nose damn itchy leh. dun care, gonna shylessly dig k.
lynn: (ignoring me cos too engrossed in biscuits)
me: wah, damn shiok
lynn: nice right?? butter biscuits are my favorite
me: uhh no,i was talking about my nose

scenario 2: at mrt, marina bay bound train arriving in one minute

lynn: wah lao, dun understand why all these people can run lor. i rather be late than run in my heels.
me: fuck lar, RUN! the next train is in nine minutes!
(after the litle spurt of morning activity)
me: shit, my nicotined lungs can't take all this running
lynn: yah, i think we should quit smoking
me: baby steps lynn, baby steps. first, we accomplish getting to work on public transport.

scenario 3: in mrt

me: they should soooo make an express line. like serve the high density neighborhoods..ang mo kio...skip bishan etc..then toa payoh.. then straight to town, that would save alot of time.
lynn: then those people living bishan how?
me: bishan got straight bus to town. and anyway we live ang mo kio, so i dun care.
lynn: no, they should have entrances to mrt stations at the basement level of all the flats.
me: uhh. thats just stupid. my idea is better, im so gonna write to SMRT about it.

scenario 4: somerset mrt station

me: oh my god i am so FUNGRY!
lynn: shit lar, we are like damn late lor. so what does that make us?? fate?? fullate?
me: hahha, yes we're engaging in the act of fullatio!
(laugh laugh laugh laugh)
lynn: eh, blowjob is spelled f-e-l-l-a-t-i-o issit?
me: yah. wah macham like sexual spelling bee.
lynn: yah, how u spell cunnilin..cunni..cunnilinigisus
me: kaninar lah, cunni cunni.. easier can. like..how do u spell "fun bags"
lynn: yah, or like "pocket marbles"


our home is looking super duper fetch, by the way. what's not so fetch is the way cigarettes can jump from 6.80 to 8.50 in one day. what the hell is going on?

weekends are wayyyy to short. time flies, especially when the entire weekend is spent playing home shopper/interior decorator/mover/cleaner/packer.

but life is good, when you've got the company of the funny friends. lynn, kev, corine, kev's bro. funny funny good times. lynn was totally enjoying the shopping spree at ikea. scary stuff she is. kev met us after work and was like "WHAT? your trolley got $600 of things??? what you buy one??!" lynn was most bei gam that she had to take out a couple items. but remember, essentials (hello, ashtrays are SO an essential!)

lunch time is fun, especially when you pick up three items in a matter of 5 minutes. not joking. i can be such a turd.

am talking to claud now about my aspirations to be a rapper (am vaguely reminded of last weekend when i exclaimed to lynn "oh god the house is so nice! we should be designers!") like hello, i made up a little rap ditty in like 2 seconds. i think kudos to me.

(pardon the n*gger lingo. it has to be that way, or it wouldnt be a rap right?)

to claud, my homie (realize we started the whole homie think to laugh at that hiphopper crapshit and it stuck on?)

you be my homie for life
if you were femme i'd make you my wife
we'd be happy, there'd never be strife
i swear my homie, i love you for life

come on now, how fucking good is that? and btw, i think Too Phat is quite the awesome. like seriously. say what you may, them being from malaysia, wannabes etc etc, but that song they did with warren g is hell catchy and you know it!


jose padilla - adios ayer